1. Name one thing you like about your body.
It can be anything, like hair, smile, teeth, freckles, dimples, wrists, etc.
We tend to generalise when we think about how we look. We’d say things like
❌I’m ugly…
❌I’m fat…
❌I can’t stand my own reflection…
I invite you to look at yourself as a scientist and really home in on every detail separately. What do you think about your nose? What about your hair? Break it down into tiny little things and find something that you like. That one thing can be the first building block towards creating positive changes in your attitude towards your appearance.
2. Refer to yourself in the third person.
It has been confirmed in multiple studies that using your own name, while also employing the second and third person, creates emotional distance, because it makes you feel as if you are talking to another person when you are talking to yourself - hence, it makes it easier to judge your own appearance, while making your judgement more impartial.
I read this in the book called Chatter: The voice in our head and how to harness it. By Ethan Kross. It’s one of the best books I’ve ever read and gives you great tools on how to become friends with your inner critic.
3. Accept your genetic blueprint.
I know it’s easier said than done, but think about it:
Just as a person with a shoe size of eight would not realistically expect to squeeze into a size six, it is equally futile (and uncomfortable) to have the same expectation about body size. But mostly, respect your body and what it does, so you can feel better about who you are.
This idea came from the book “Intuitive Eating” by Evelyn Tribole and Elyse Resch. They’ve got a section there called “Respect Your Body”. - Another amazing book, highly recommend!
4. Look at the bigger picture.
This is the reverse exercise to #1.
When I was a teen I used to hate my nose. It got to the point where I used to turn away in the street whenever anyone was passing by, so they couldn’t see my nose. When I got a bit older, I realised that even though my nose is relatively big AND my eyes are relatively small, when you take in my WHOLE face, it actually is a good-looking face.
So if you suffer from having similar thoughts, don’t forget that people see you as a whole, like you take in a piece of art as a whole, not a tiny dot at a time.
5. Use your look as one of your many qualities as a human.
There is an exercise which I did in therapy, where you list all of your positive qualities.
It helps you as an anchor. When you are feeling low about yourself, you can go back to that list and remember that actually you are OK.
I suggest creating a list where you alternate between positive qualities and little things you like about your appearance.
Here is an example:
✅Empathetic
✅Cute freckles
✅Good surfer
✅Nice wrists
✅Strong will
✅Greate hair
✅Care about environment
✅Nice nose
And so on. It helps you to look at your appearance as part of your whole self. And rather than concentrating on what you don’t like, you can keep adding to the long list of what you do like about yourself.
AND, here is my recommendation for a BRILLIANT podcast called Talking Body, by Amy Porterfield. Amy is very well known in the online marketing sector, but this podcast has nothing to do with that. This is her personal journey, trying to vanquish that little voice inside her head telling her how she should look.
